Friday, July 15, 2011

Memorable Pizza Deliveries

I currently work at a pizza place, as a "delivery expert". This entails for some interesting stories.

I was taking a delivery to a hotel room, and when I arrived I knocked on the door. It didn't take long for them to answer, but when they did, a large, hairy, shirtless man opened the door. Now, something weird about me. I have 4 brothers and I ran cross country, but shirtless guys still make me automatically look away. It makes me feel a teeny bit awkward. So here, filling the doorway, was this shirtless man in all his hairy, large splendor. I delivered his pizza, managed a smile, and waited for him to sign the receipt (and hopefully give me a good tip). He finished signing it, WINKED at me, and then went in his room. The tip was 40 CENTS. He WINKED at me and tipped me 40 CENTS?!? Did he think I was enjoying his shirtlessness as a tip?! I focused on brushing it off as I went back to my car so I could keep a cheery disposition for the other people I delivered to.

Another delivery, I went up to the apartment door. I knocked, and a guy answered (his shirt was on, thank goodness). A girl was on his couch, so I could only assume this was a date. I gave him his food, thanked him for the tip, and began walking away. "Hey!" I turned around. "Do you drink?" I had honestly never thought ANYONE would ask me this. "No." "Oh, ok. Cuz if you did, I was going to invite you to a party tonight." Now, here's my thought. He may have been hitting on me because I'm pretty & wanted to see me at this party, but I was pretty sure that girl in there was his girlfriend, or at least his date. It doesn't seem like very good date etiquette to hit on other girls while your date is within hearing distance. "No, thank you. Have a wonderful evening." "Alright, you too!" It was kind of satisfactory inside how easy that was to turn down.

On another delivery, the door opened to a firm faced man swaying. It looked like he was going to fall over. I could only assume he was drunk. He didn't seem to be the happy drunk kind, though. He seemed slightly angry. I was pretty intimidated. I gave him his pizza, hoping to make this exchange as quick as possible. When he gave me the money, I turned to go. "Wait." I turned. "What about change?" Ah, right. I forgot to ask him. This was a common amount for a delivery, and the amount he gave me people usually told me to keep the change. "Oh, sorry. Would you like your change back?" He stared at me, hard, then finally said, "Eh, just keep it," then shut the door. Relieved to have that exchange over, I hurried to my car.

Now, for one of the cuter stories. I got out of the car and was heading for the house when a little girl came around the corner. Looking confused, she told me, "Ma'am, I think you're going to the wrong house. We didn't order pizza." I double checked the address on the pizza. "Well, it's your address on the box..." "What's the address?" I began reading her address from the box when suddenly her parents came out of the house. I walked over to them. "Guess we forgot to consult the little ones before ordering," the dad teased. The little girls were like, "Whaaat?? We ordered pizza???" I left them to figure that one out. :)

On another delivery, I got out of my car. Two middle aged men approached me from the garage, greeting me raucously. I didn't quite catch what they said, but I could tell it was inappropriate. I handed them their pizza, and asked them how they were doing. "Better than you! I'm drunk, and you're at work!" I could not think of a response, so I smiled and told them to have a good day. "You be safe! And don't drink and drive!" Don't worry, random drunk guy. That will never be a problem for me.

There are several other stories, but I thought I'd just share a few :) Hope you got laughs out of these!

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