Tuesday, November 6, 2012

God Has Other Plans

Growing up, I'd always thought, "You know, if I'm not dating anyone seriously by the time I'm 21, I'm going to serve a mission." With how my dating life in high school was turning out, I was not only positive that I'd be going on a mission, but that I probably wouldn't be getting married until I was somewhere between 24-26. My friends all laughed at me and told me that I'd be married by 20.
Well, Heavenly Father had different plans for me than I had thought. In May 2011, I officially met my future husband. I had unofficially met him when I went on a date with his roommate in October 2010, and he doubled with us.  He was originally just dating while he waited for a Sister Missionary, but I didn't know that at first. 

When I first found out he was waiting for a Sister Missionary, I was pretty upset. I was already really interested in him at this point, and we had been on a date a week for 4 or 5 weeks now. My roommates had started spying through the peep hole after our dates to see if I would be getting my first kiss anytime soon, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't hoping for it as well. Finding out that he was waiting for her was crushing, and I began to resolve to get over him and to move on with my life. I had made resolutions like this before with other guys, and it never took long for me to actually follow through these types of resolutions. It's lucky for him that the very next day he asked me if we could go on a walk because he needed someone to talk to. 

On the walk, he told me that he didn't know where things were going, but that he was having a lot of fun going on dates with me, and he still wanted to continue to go on dates. The peace and reassurance I felt was phenomenal. The Spirit prompted me strongly that I should continue dating him, even though I didn't know where it was going to go. Later, when we began talking about marriage I made it a matter of prayer. I counseled with my bishop, who listened to me and then asked me if I'd prayed about it. When I told him that I had and that I felt good about it, he encouraged me in my decision. And I had felt good about it. I knew that Andrew was the right guy for me to marry. On our wedding day, in the Celestial room, I felt a VERY strong confirming witness that I was marrying the RIGHT guy in the RIGHT place at the RIGHT time.

We had gotten a lot of advice from people telling us to wait to have children, because we really need the first couple of years to strengthen our relationship before we brought children into the picture. We decided that was a good idea and decided to wait a couple of years to have children.
Once again, Heavenly Father had a different plan for us. During our Building a Celestial Marriage institute course, we were discussing not postponing having children. It was emphasized that it was between us and the Lord, but I felt an overwhelming thought come to me. WE HADN'T PRAYED ABOUT OUR DECISION TO WAIT. I talked to Andrew about it, and we made it a matter of personal prayer and study, and at the end of the week brought our answer to the temple. Through the entire week I couldn't shake the VERY strong feeling I was getting that we were not supposed to wait to start our family. At the temple, we had confirmation after confirmation after confirmation that we weren't supposed to wait.

It hasn't ended there. I have received inspiration at the temple time and time again since then that we're not supposed to wait, that our children are on the other side of the veil praying to come down to us, and on and on. Andrew and I are not going to wait.
I haven't used any form of birth control for 9 months now, and we are both excited and sometimes impatient to be able to have children. I am still not pregnant. I have received very strong witnesses that Heavenly Father is in charge of the timing of when our children will come to us, though, so I do not have to worry.  I trust in my Father in Heaven, and I know that He is in charge of this timing. I know He has what is best in mind for my family and I. Because of this, I am willing to wait however long He needs me to.

Heavenly Father has other plans for us. I have received so much criticism saying that I should have gone on a mission, and that they expected so much more from me. I believe that I AM serving a mission where I am, as a faithful daughter of God, and wife to my husband, as we do family names and bring them to the temple. I believe that our striving to break family cycles is a mission and calling from God as well. I have been told by countless numbers of people that I should wait to have my family. THAT IS NOT GOD'S WILL FOR ME. I can't ignore the answers and promptings I have received. God knows the bigger picture, so even if His plans are different, I am following them.

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